This Too Shall Pass

There are some things in this life we cannot live without. It may vary from person to person, whereas I, cannot live without attention, soft lingering kisses, and companionship. And when these things escape me, I am uncomfortable. Like a fish out of water, I am struggling, coping with a new environment. The change is not good. It is painful, not only emotionally. There is a piercing feeling through my body telling me to stop and look for the missing piece that I need. The three things I cannot live without all have one thing in common -- the existence of another person. I cannot get attention if no one is giving it, I cannot share soft lingering kisses if there is no one on the other side to receive it, and I certainly cannot share the company of anyone where there is no one there. It's safe to say that I'm a people person. I have a tendency to rely on one person heavily. We all know that it's not good to, but I still do it no matter what anyone says because I need it. I need to know that at the end of the day, there will be someone who will remain faithful to me and that I can always call my own. I pin a lot of expectations on this someone, I won't say what, in the fear that you may judge me to be a tad bit unreasonable -- and judgement is something I want to shy away from at this very moment. But I do also have a reasonable request from this someone, and that is never to take advantage of me. I'm a simple girl with simple wants, and people who TRULY know me, will agree.

On to the real reason why I'm venting right now.. I'm going through a break up. I've never been the type to handle situations like this very well. I don't like detachment. As much as possible, I'd like to figure things out and fix them. But then I too, am all broken inside, and have no more energy at this point. Now, you ask me.. So what do you want then? Ikaw na mismo nagsabing pagod ka na. Let us not forget, that it takes two to tango. Therefore, I only play one part in this relationship. How about the other half? How about that other half fix me up for a change? It's tiring to be looked at as the culprit in this relationship. People always judge my quirky attitude for being a destructive girlfriend as well -- and who I am on court is different from who I am off.

Now, I'm a bit confused as where I want this blog to go. So maybe, I should cut it here and go straight to the point. This is what I'd like to say to you..

"All I wanted was a damn apology, a sincere one at that. 'Sorry, now you know how I feel.' is not necessarily what I want to hear when you hurt my feelings. And since when has retribution been the theme of our relationship -- or any relationship for that matter? If you lose me today, or any other day, don't blame me for giving up. Blame yourself for not stepping up."

Wide Awake and Dreaming

Hey, everybody. I've been busy and down the past couple of weeks, and I haven't been up to writing much these days. I got this really mean ask on tumblr about how my life is not cool and I'm being such a poser. Haha. Well, to hell with that bitch and still not getting a birthday gift from my mom. Anyway, I've been shopping a lot lately and here are some of my finds.. Most are in my room, so maybe I'll make a post about the rest tomorrow.

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Wild Thing muscle tee from Forever Young ;; Pop Culture, Alabang Town Center

My current read. I haven't gone far, so I can't really tell if it's in my line of interest. Haha.

I have a veryyy interesting blogpost coming up and I'm preparing real hard for it. So, I hope you all tune in to that and check back on my blog. Have a hot and happy summer! xx

Young, Wild and Free ♥

I'm officially an adult! :) I turned 18 yesterday and it wasn't what I expected it to be. It was theeee worst birthday of my life, but through the overwhelming greetings of friends and people I didn't even know -- it made my heart smile ♥ It may not have been my day, but I'm hoping it'll be my year. I can't wait to test out what it's like to be legal. Haha! I might be having a little party for some friends either in Republiq or Encore, but that's still undecided. I haven't had my first legal alcoholic drink, and I wonder if it's gonna taste any different. Haha. And, this also means that my bestfriend's birthday is coming soon!! We were born exactly a week apart ♥ hihi. So excited for the new adventures to come!

Fashion Inspiration

In light of Tricia Gosingtian's boo-boo during the NY Fashion Week, wherein she dissed Filipino fashion by saying that it isn't "fashion forward" -- whatever she means by that.. I'd like to make an entry dedicated to the designers who have shaped Philippine Fashion so much and also a few fashionistas that I'm proud to call my fellow Filipinos. And also, Tricia, I hope you read this. I never liked you anyway. So you can suck my non-existent DAMN STRAIGHT FASHIONABLE dick.

Ivarluski Aseron (My personal favorite!) His designs remind me a bit of Herve Leger because of it's avant garde feel ♥

Next is Joey Samson! And no... We are not related. Haha! I love how he pays attention to detail in one piece, then so simple in the next. 

(Snaps for Joey Samson!! Look at the detail on this baby ♥)

( Look at this tres chic Barbie collection of Joey Samson! Isn't it adorable? ♥)

Aries Lagat. I think I remember him from Project Runway Philippines? Prints+Really Clean Silhouette= Perfection :) I admire him so much for integrating both!

Inno Sotto, one of the most established fashion designers who have weathered the tides of the fashion industry. It's quite amazing how his designs evolve even through different eras. He sure knows how to cater to all audiences.

Well, those were just a few of my favorite fashion designers.. I'll be posting my favorite fashionistas tomorrow (which will definitely not include arrogant, pompous, self indulgent, skinny people) Haha. Kidding aside, I really do believe that you can find so much inspiration from the culture we have in this country. It's your own say whether you choose to succumb to it  or not, but in the end, it doesn't make you a bigger person if you don't subscribe to your country's idea of fashion. I, myself, incorporate a lot of Philippine culture in my clothing. It could be a pattern from the Cordilleras, or the scrunched up sleeve that most people think originated from Zara but actually looks like a modernized Maria Clara, or to the mere wearing of clogs which are also somewhat like our very own bakya. Look around, there's so much more you can learn to love about the Philippines rather than pinning it down as a country with stagnant fashion growth.

Hope you enjoyed,

Carla ♥